How to Identify An Idiot?

(1) He spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said, "concentrate".
(2) He puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.
(3) He gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
(4) He sends a fax with a stamp on it.

(5) He tries to drown a fish.
(6) If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change.
(7) He trips over a cordless phone.
(8) He takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

(9) At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here", he puts "Sagittarius".
(10) He takes 2 hours to watch "60 minutes".
(11) He invents a solar powered flashlight.
(12) He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves.

(13) He misses the No. 14 Bus, and takes the 7 twice instead.
(14) He takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", and he turned around and went home.
(15) He got locked in a furniture shop but sleeps on the floor.
(16) He spends time reading thru the above 15 points and analyses if he is an idiot!!!

AIDILFITRI DALAM KEHIDUPAN

Taqdim

اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ،* اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، *

* اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ، * وَللهِ الْحَمْدُ،

اَللهُ أَكْبَرُ كَبِيْرًا وَالْحَمْدُ للهِ كَثِيْرًا وَسُبْحَانَ اللهِ بُكْرَةً وَأَصِيْلاَ. لآ اِلَهَ
إِلاَّ اللهُ وَحْدَهُ، صَدَقَ وَعْدَهُ، وَنَصَرَ عَبْدَهُ، وَأَعَزَّ جُنْدَهُ وَهَزَمَ اْلأَحْزَابَ وَحْدَهُ.

أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاَ اِلَهَ إِلاَّ اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لاَ شَرِيْكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ سَيِّدَنَا مُحَمَّدًا
عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ
وَصَحْبِهِ وَالتَّابِعِينَ وَتَابِعِيْهِمْ بِإِحْسَانٍ إِلىَ يَوْمِ الدِّيْنِ.

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَيَا عِبَادَ الله، اِتَّقُوْا اللهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاَ تَمُوْتُنَّ إِلاَّ وَاَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُوْنَ.

Saya mengingatkan diri saya sendiri dan memanjangkan nasihat dan pesanan kepada seluruh saudaraku muslimin, agar menerapkan taqwa dalam kehidupan, menjadikan ibadah sebagai instrumen terbaik bagi mendekatkan diri kepada Allah, berteraskan matlamat untuk menjadi khalifah dan hamba Allah yang terbaik, serta berusaha memantapkan persiapan diri dari segala aspek, demi kecemerlangan hidup di dunia dan di akhirat. All praise is due to Allah alone. We praise Him, thank Him, seek His forgiveness and repent unto Him. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and our sinful deeds. Whomever Allah guides none can misguide and whomever Allah misguides, then he has lost life on this earth and in the Hereafter. I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah alone without partners and bear witness that Mohammed is His Servant and Messenger; on this blessed Eid day may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, his noble family, his honourable companions and all that follow his guidance

Sidang Jumaat yang dikasihi....

* untuk teks penuh sila ke blog Ustaz Erfino

Mari Bersolat

Mari Bersolat
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